RICO Leads New Myrtle Beach Chamber Membership Bendover

“In 1970, Congress passed the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act, Title 18, United States Code, Sections 1961-1968. At the time, Congress' goal was to eliminate the criminal affects of organized crime on the nation's economy. To put it bluntly, RICO was intended to destroy the Mafia.

Throughout the 1970's, RICO's intended purpose and its actual use ran parallel to each other. Seldom was RICO used outside of the context of the Mafia, and it is not an overstatement to say that civil claims under RICO were simply not brought.

In the 1980's, however, civil lawyers noticed section 1964(c) of the RICO Act, which allows civil claims to be brought by any person injured in their business or property by reason of a RICO violation. Any person who succeeded in establishing a civil RICO claim would automatically receive judgment in the amount of three times their actual damages and would be awarded their costs and attorneys' fees. The financial windfall available under RICO inspired the creativity of lawyers across the nation, and by the late 1980's, RICO was a (if not the most) commonly asserted claim in federal court. Everyone was trying to depict civil claims, such as common law fraud, product defect, and breach of contract as criminal wrongdoing, which would in turn enable the filing of a civil RICO action.

RICO's broad application was the result of Congress' inclusion of mail and wire fraud as two crimes upon which a RICO claim could be brought. Given the breadth of activities that had historically been criminally prosecuted under the mail and wire fraud statutes, it was not difficult for creative civil attorneys to depict practically any wrongdoing as mail or wire fraud.

During the 1990's, the federal courts, guided by the United States Supreme Court, engaged in a concerted effort to limit the scope of RICO in the civil context. As a result of this effort, civil litigants must jump many hurdles and avoid many pitfalls before they can expect the financial windfall available under RICO, and RICO has become one of the most complicated and unpredictable areas of the law.

Today, RICO is almost never applied to the Mafia. Instead, it is applied to individuals, businesses, political protest groups, and terrorist organizations. In short, a RICO claim can arise in almost any context.” Jeffrey Ernest Grell, RICO Attorney

Now you’re probably saying, “Great, thanks for the boring legalese history lesson Watchman, but what the hell does RICO have to do with the Redneck Riviera?”

Plenty my friends, plenty. You see, the Redneck Riviera has its own Mafia outfit; it's called the Myrtle Beach Chamber of Comedy. That's right boys and girls; the Myrtle Beach Chamber of Comedy is apparently operating its own multi-million dollar shakedown schemes.

Okay, here it is plain and simple, Saint Bradley Dean and his carnival of unkempt clowns and clownettes at the Myrtle Beach Chamber of Comedy is apparently extorting, blackmailing, coercing and conspiring against their primary membership base, while at the same time they’re also conspiring to destroy the businesses of yet another important membership segment by establishing a Chamber advertising and publishing monopoly, which constitutes restraint of trade, which is a Federal crime!

That's right, extortion, blackmail, coercion, conspiracy and restraint of trade and here's how:

The Chamber’s 2007-2008 membership requirements - which were nefariously crafted in the middle of the night by Dean, Woody “The Rodent” Crosby, Frans “F#%k ’Em” Mustart, Wayne “The Snake” Gray and a few other of the usual cheap-suited assheads who hang out in Dean's closet - require that all accommodation members must collect a $1 per rented room night fee from their unsuspecting guests, and then fork over those ill-gotten funds to the Chamber to blow on any hair-brained scheme they can come up with. If the accommodation members refuse to agree to the Chamber's extortion they are then barred from joining the Chamber.

The accommodation members must also submit to yet a 2nd bendover, by being forced to put the Chamber’s antiquated, child-like, piece of crap guidebook in all their guest rooms - “EXCLUSIVELY.” Again, if the accommodation members refuse to agree to this Chamber edict they will be barred from the Chamber.

To me, and everyone else I’ve talked to with an IQ over 20, these Stalinesque membership demands constitute taxation without representation, extortion, blackmail, coercion, conspiracy and restraint of trade. Therefore, we believe that the Chamber of Comedy’s actions to be criminal acts, and thereby constitute violations of the RICO Act!

Furthermore, it's apparent to us that the Chamber, by requiring publication “exclusivity” in the accommodation member’s rental units, is also in direct violation of United States Code, Title 15, Chapter 1 - § 2. Monopolizing Trade, which, my friends, is also a felony.

The Code states that, “Every person who shall monopolize, or attempt to monopolize, or combine or conspire with any other person or persons, to monopolize any part of the trade or commerce among the several States, or with foreign nations, shall be deemed guilty of a felony, and, on conviction thereof, shall be punished by fine not exceeding $10,000,000 if a corporation, or, if any other person, $350,000, or by imprisonment not exceeding three years, or by both said punishments, in the discretion of the court.”

Whereas the Chamber of Comedy is actively involved in interstate and foreign commerce on virtually a daily basis, they are certainly subject to Federal as well as state laws, and it's painfully obvious to me that they are in direct violation both state and Federal laws here.

I'm no lawyer, and I don't play one on TV, but if I were an owner of accommodations, advertising firm or publishing business, I’d already be at my attorney's office screaming, “Extortion, Blackmail, Coercion, Conspiracy, Restraint of Trade,” and my lawsuit against the Chamber would have already been filed.

Next, I'd be gathering up everyone else with businesses affected by the Chamber's dirty dealings, and have them join with me in filing a class-action lawsuit against the Chamber, and the bastards who led this slimy conspiracy.

Finally, I’d load up all my fellow screwees on a fleet of buses, and head over to the United States Attorney's office in Columbia and ask Mr. Thurmond to look into that RICO thing.

But hey, that's just me!

“Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes.” Robert Heinlein

And so it goes on the Redneck Riviera!